A decade ago, as rules-based chatbots came into vogue (as opposed to the GenAI-powered bots we have now), the founder of one such tool told me that the most common phrase typed into their bots was, "I love you."

These weren’t flirtatious bots. These were bots run by brands and media properties.

Most of these users were probably just curious what would happen. But for anyone who wanted to express some form of love and see if they could be loved back, such romantic arrangements were doomed.

Perhaps it seems quaint in what feels like a more nihilistic era we're in now that people would lead with love rather than hate. But the bots didn't care then, and they don’t care now. Bots don’t care.

It's my biggest problem with AI-powered therapy apps. They’re not all bad. Some can potentially expand access to mental healthcare — a resource many people can't find quality versions of, can't afford, or both. But there’s a big downside when prioritizing access and convenience over the human touch.

When I was using the therapeutic journaling app Rosebud, for instance, I found it freeing to dictate a journal while being prompted to dive deeper. I even came to some revelations that made me understand my childhood better and be more forgiving to my past self. Yes, with AI’s assistance! But I also realized that Rosebud didn't care when I showed up, or if I showed up. Having another person care matters. It’s hard to be persistent when instead of it being a one-sided relationship, there isn’t a relationship to begin with.

Similarly, I've tried the AI-powered matchmaking app Amata. My pet peeve with it is when I reject a match, and it responds, "I understand." There is no "I" with Amata, and it doesn't "understand." I just said, "No" to the match. I didn't say, "No, this person and I don't seem to share the same values," or, "This person seems lovely, but from their photos, I can tell they're not my type." The bot has no data to process here, so it can't possibly understand a thing, no matter how much we anthropomorphize the relationship. It is an “it” and understands nothing. I feel gaslit just a bit every time it says that.

Since bots can't love us back or understand us or care when we’re present, that gives us a chance to step back and reevaluate how we relate to them.

We don't have to love them. We don't have to respect them. We don't have to hate or disrespect them either. But our relationship with AI needs to be no deeper than it is with our dishwasher. 

The dishwasher does not love doing my dishes. It doesn't understand me. Maybe my next one will have AI-powered sensors to determine what settings to use, and that's fine, as long as it doesn't send me alert saying, "Take it easy on the fried chicken, bub!" Sometimes, after running the dishwasher, I take a dish out and it hasn't been cleaned well, or there's a streak on a glass. I don't stop using the dishwasher. I sometimes decide to upgrade the detergent. And here we are, an AI-themed column plugging Cascade Platinum. I am not a dishwasherfluencer. 

My previous column, "Welcoming the AI Backlash," triggered the most passionate response to date, as AI's failings are not just frustrating but also tend to remind us of our own shortcomings.

Not loving AI is a good starting point for resetting the relationship. We shouldn't even think of employing AI, as employing someone means factoring their needs and wants into the equation. AI has none of that. When I’m polite to a bot and use manners, I know I’m doing it for me — because I like to try to remember to use manners. That’s different from using manners because you care about what the bot thinks.

It can help with some tasks. It can't with others. You can take control of when you use it to some extent. When you can't because it's forced on you, that's fine. How much software have we had to use from clients and employers that we'd rather not? Publicis Groupe famously made staff use Lotus Notes for years when most other businesses used Outlook and Gmail. Most staff didn't love it, but they still had to email each other and clients somehow. The work got done.

Sting famously crooned, "If you love someone, set them free." No need to love AI to do the same. It'll be there for you either way. And it sure as heck won't love you back.

— David Berkowitz, Chief Community Officer, Marketecture Media

Who: Agency CEOs, Account Directors, Procurement Teams, Brand CMOs

What: Agency network leaders noted a significant operational gap between agency AI capabilities and client readiness. While agencies have integrated sophisticated AI platforms into real-time media planning, automated buying, and data modeling, many brand clients remain bogged down in legal governance and budget constraints. This disconnect is repositioning agencies as essential operational consultants rather than just execution partners.

Why it matters: Agencies are successfully leveraging their technical first-mover advantage to justify higher strategic fees, but they must actively help clients solve internal compliance blockers to scale work.

(Digiday)

Who: Retail Media Buyers, Commerce Marketers, CPG Brand Managers, Trade Promoters

What: Ace Hardware partnered with commerce media software provider Pacvue to integrate its retail media network, RedVest Media, into a unified dashboard. The integration allows brands to manage, optimize, and scale product campaigns across Ace's 5,200 store footprint and 70 million loyalty members directly alongside their existing Amazon and Walmart ad investments.

Why it matters: Specialty and cooperative retail media networks are scaling rapidly, leaning on AI-backed unified platforms to make niche, high-intent shopper data frictionless for programmatic buyers to access.

(MediaPost)

Who: CMOs, SEO Teams, E-commerce Brands, Brand Strategists

What: Marketing leaders are developing new approaches for making their brands discoverable in conversational platforms such as ChatGPT and Gemini. Their playbooks emphasize authoritative content, recognizable brand signals, and understanding how AI systems describe products—not merely where websites rank.

Why it matters: Search visibility is becoming recommendation visibility. Marketers need to monitor what AI says about their brands as closely as traditional rankings.

(Business Insider)

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